— What constrains me are the thoughts I think others want me to think; the thoughts I know others insist I think. What constrains me is myself; my lack of courage to voice my contradictory opinions and refuse to be politically or societally correct. After all, what does society know about correctness or truth?
All these adults, pretending like that have it all figured out, hypocrites! All of them. Including me.
Have you ever thought such thoughts? I have. Quite honestly, any free thinker must have had similar thoughts. But come now, I must not burden you with the constraints of my own assumptions.
After reading Celeste Ng’s book, Everything I Never Told You, several thoughts danced in my mind. I critiqued the writing style, daydreamed about the fictional characters, creating a story of my own. I mused on similarities between my life and that of her characters-we humans do that a lot. We sure love our similarities. ‘You’ve had this?! Me too’. I also found myself wondering about her inspiration for this novel. What stirred her imagination in this direction? I need to read more fiction.
This is not a book review. My intention is to puzzle over some of the stirrings in my heart after reading Celeste’s book, related or correlated.
There are several nuanced issues raised in this book and definitely lots of ideas worth exploring. Especially so are the intricacies of family dynamics and how they shape us.
Self-awareness is not something we can survey. If I asked you, “How self-aware do you think you are?”. What would your answer be?
I would be absolutely scandalized if you said, “I’m not self-aware at all”. In our society today (or maybe not just today), it is more normal for people to self-proclaim on how well they know themselves. Everything, and yes, everything about pop culture enables us with the skills for self-deception. We lie to ourselves, believe our lies, then lie to others. Round of applause for coming full-cycle.
But, maybe you do know yourself. Or you’re on your journey to knowing yourself better each day…
Out of curiousity, what are your thoughts on your family dynamic? How do you see yourself functioning in the eco-system of your household? Are you pursuing your own dreams or the dreams of your parents? I encourage you to start or keep discussing your answers with trusted friends and family, you might be surprised at the stirrings in your heart.
Honesty is underrated in our society, at its finest, it is diluted.
Explore depth, don’t hide from it.
To wrap this up, I will include my favourite excerpt from this novel:
“What had they missed that they should have seen? What small gesture, forgotten, might have changed everything? They will pick it down to the bones, wondering how these had all gone so wrong, and they will never be sure.”
Celeste Ng
As Always,
Vicky ❤
